On Wednesday evening I took another significant step on what has turned out to be the most incredible journey of my life.
In just over four months Miss Kendal has taken me from a confused individual thinking I wanted to recreate a time long gone, a past probably not even reality, to an excited and intrigued sub looking to expand my experience in a world I never even imagined existed.
As I step over the threshold of Miss Kendal’s playroom I enter a whole new and wonderful world, its ‘The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe’ where i pass through a door and I am stripped of all humility and dignity and become weak and controlled, helpless in my own mind, and not quite the Lion I would like to be!, but I long for that feeling and need to lack the comfort of self control, and this is where I find that, my ‘Narnia’, where Miss Kendal is in control, a place where I would do absolutely anything for her, at her command.
But back to Wednesday, I, a 56 year old man, whose day to day life is a million miles from Miss Kendals playroom, stood naked except for my boxers around my ankles, pulled down by Miss Kendal, looking at myself in the mirror, shaking with fear and anticipation, I worshipped Miss Kendals lovely feet with my mouth and tongue and I took the most painful beating with Miss Kendals hand, bath brush, belt and canes I could ever have imagined, but beyond all of that I was transported by her to the most wonderful place in the world where pain and ecstasy become one, a place where reality and fantasy merge in a blur, where the real and surreal become a single thing if only for that moment in time, I was lost in a place only contained by the limits of my imagination.
This was my seventh visit to Miss Kendal and each visit has been another step on my journey to that special place, a place where I lose all sense of reality, but each step towards this has been expertly guided by Miss Kendal, she leads me into the unknown but also brings me back to reality with care and compassion. I am always exhausted and in pain but filled with euphoria and a joy which lasts for hours and even days afterwards, my world has changed forever. Miss Kendal has turned me from the imaginary naughty boy of 1973 to the real naughty boy of 2017.
My journey is now in full swing, and racing forward like a roller coaster, unstoppable for me. I enter each meeting with no preconceptions of what to expect, in fact I enjoy the thrill of not knowing what Miss Kendal may have in store for me, it is intoxicating, thrilling, and exciting as well as scary and nerve racking at the same time. I would never have thought I could have experienced pain, and real pain beyond what I may have ever imagined, and ecstasy in one single experience, it is just truly unbelievable!
As I pass over that threshold, both physical and psychological, I become for a time Miss Kendal’s ‘Dirty Boy’ a feeling of embarrassment and inadequacy, but also of joy and elation, I know that I will be punished and this will be extremely painful, but also that the punishment will allow me to experience relief and ultimately please Miss Kendal, a feeling I crave desperately. I really can’t thank Miss Kendal enough! But I have to say quite simply Thank You for helping me find myself!
Miss Kendal’s ‘Dirty Boy’