There are many types of play that involve changing the way you speak. For example; the words you use, or perhaps the encouragement of noises only. Playing in this way can be incredibly liberating and can really help to discover quite how deep your submission goes. I adore the exploration of a mind during a session which speech is restricted, but one thing that’s guaranteed to put me off is to approach me with these restrictions already in place. In my eyes this is unacceptable and frankly, disrespectful.
All subs should know this phrase:
‘I may be a sub, but I’m not YOUR sub’
Use it when necessary to avoid overly eager Tops enticing you into play you hadn’t consented to. However, it applies both ways. Simply because someone identifies as a Top role does not mean they are obliged to be YOUR Top. Putting the word ‘Pro’ in front of ‘Domme’ doesn’t change this either. Neither I, nor any other Pro you contact has the obligation to session with everyone who requests it.
Many of my clients adore role play, as do I, but all who are invited to session with me have approached me initially as an adult. I need to converse with you before we begin our play and, despite what you may think, writing an email in role is initiating play without my consent. That goes against everything I believe in: Safe, Sane, Consensual. I don’t communicate in my role and, until a relationship has been established, I don’t believe it’s right to. How presumptuous would I be if I were to order you around and speak in a condescending manner in my very first email to you? How likely is it that you’d want to continue communication with someone who makes assumptions about you without trying to get to know you? Not very, I can tell you.
The only way this works is with open and honest, two-way communication. Our enjoyment must be mutual for both parties to remain interested. I do not enjoy having to read minds and guess my way into a person’s fantasies; it’s not a safe or sane way to play.
It may be your desire to oink like a pig, you may be desperate to wail like a new born baby or try your luck as a cheeky teenager in trouble at school. But you must keep in mind that every piggy is different and each baby or school boy/girl has individual requirements. It is not enough to make a sound and expect a Top to understand the intricacies of your particular fantasy.
I pride myself on taking the time to learn about the people I play with. It’s important to me that your needs as a submissive are met; something that’s not easily achievable if you haven’t taken the time to help me understand them before launching into your role.
Moreover, it’s a very boring way to begin a relationship! I have an ego and it is nicely stroked when I feel I have earned your submission. Popping it on a silver platter and rolling over like a dog via email tells me you would do that for anyone, and generally means you’ve contacted me based on physical attraction alone – big NO! It makes you look easy and, ultimately, an unattractive proposition. There’s no chase, no reward, no fun.
Approach it like you would any other relationship. Flirt with my mind. Entice me into wanting to explore yours. Initiate conversation and be yourself. The time will soon come when you can fall into role; let it happen naturally.
Note: If you have been directed here following initial contact, your email was too forward. I invite you to resend, should you wish to, without role-specific wording.